doubtfuldrugs

& purge.
what a fail of a morning.



setting my calorie count at 300.
and to think, i planned to fast. fuck.

 Fuckkkk. My dad made me eat lunch it was gross. Greasey and filled with cals. He's gonna make me eat dinner too. I'm wondering if I should just give up and let it happen, but I'm not sure. 
There's a gym in my hotel so I might try and convince my younger brother who is in conditioning for lacrosse to go with me tonight/tomorrow. Maybe they'll have an elliptical or a bike :)

I want exercise equipment sooo bad. But my parents won't let me. Maybe I can make my brother ask for it. 
Or maybe I'll just have to wait till its warm to start running again. 
My gf wants her wii fit back :( Damnnn. Oh well. 

I'm so tired of having to stuff my face :( I want them to just leave me alone. 

how kick ass is Pink's bod?? shes like a tiny powerhouse. her and kendra wilkinson (before pregnancy of course...) awesome!

Cereal- 200
Tangerines- 100
Mini Pizza- 370
Weightwatchers noodel soup- 150

- 850cals today...... :(

Tomorow will be a lot better. :)

Luv Lola

xmas wasn't to bad.. But for me xmas is from 24th to the 3rd janurary.. as my family dont leave till then :l So I'm being forced to eat even more xmas dinners argh!

But I ordered myself an exercise machine, will be here tomorrow or tuesday :) Thats gonna be nice

Ive put up 5 lbs but I am still on my period.. So I am hoping some of its bloating/water weight. Im glad my period seems normal for once, for the last year its been really weird. been getting spotting around the time its due and then soemtimes it will start a week early.. but then stop after 2 days n start again when its actually due.

Been very confusing n stresses me out a bit as i don't want to end up with somethign else wrong with me lol

Hello hello!

Well, right now im just waking up. still in bed, and sort of planing what im gonna do today.

im seeing a movie later with my friend. its VERY risky because we're smoking first (weed of course) and then going. munchies plus going to a movie equals not a good idea... im determined however, to just get a diet coke. i WILL just get a diet coke.

i looked in the mirror this morning and my stomach is the tiniest its been since ive been home. thank god. i really hope i just get ot goal of 118 by jan 17th. im going to weigh myself after this, and i'll let you girls know how it is later.

hope veryone is having a great start for today! love you all and stay safe :)

~liz xo

oh ps, my daily intake will include: veggie burger (90), jello (10) for a snack, and soup (60) and a small salad (20lettuce + 22.5dressing) for dinner for a total of 202.5 :)

So whos with me on this 5 day fast?

Starts today. Christmas is over. Now its time to get back to business. Im sipping on black coffee right now and my mom is making breakfast. It's easy to chew & spit throughout the whole meal cause everyone else is busy eating there own thing,so I'm okay on that one.

But I'm supposed to hang out with my dad today. I dont know how I'll get out of eating but it has to be done.

 Ladies, I want you to remember that becoming thin is not a magical cure to insecurity.
There IS no magic cure!
Whether you're stuffing your face or resisting the urge, every time you go to the store, or to school, or meet someone new, you will size yourself up to them.
And you will always be small. 
Confidence and security comes from the inside.
Beauty comes from the inside.
It's important to remember that, especially during these times.
Even if you have a "perfect body"
People will still see that you hate yourself. 

Learn to love yourselves.
You are beautiful.
Remember, all you have is yourself.
If you don't like you, change.
Not just your body
but your inner body.

well. i'm still at 105.5 lbs and i didn't gain anything.
last night after spending time with family i felt so sick and went to bed early.
it felt like torture. and i barely ate as much as everybody!
my bestie texted to see if i was available to hang out but i was feeling disgusting and passed out.

so with my family last night we watched Holiday Inn. many actresses were at normal weight at that time. i was looking at the blonde girl in it and she looked healthy.
guess that was beauty back then.
then we watched The Holiday. Cameron Diaz. she's beautiful! i love how thin she is! i never really looked up to her as thinspo but damnn.
and Jude Law? he's absolutelyy good looking! i wonder what his ideal girl is :p
though assuming he's dated Sienna Miller he does like very skinny women.. =/

anyhow. it will get better. i promise. lets stay strong til New Years!

any New Years plans or fun activities happening? :)

Well it's been 2-3 days since I posted and damn I missed you guys !!! I have been reading as much as I could from my phone internet but have had the bf over since xmas eve *sigh* Not that it's all bad, but I get no time to post on here which sucks !!! 

I avoided the whole family big dinner thing at xmas, BUT still managed to eat fairly bad with my bf. On the other hand did go for a 1.5 hour hike on xmas day, then an hour walk that night. Another hour today as well :) 

And by some random chance I got my xmas wish of an exercise bike !!! Found one dumped in my area ... just when I thought xmas had lost it's magic hahaha. A day late and it's an old bike, but hey does the trick.

Going to get on it tomorrow and burn off as much as I can from the past 2 days .. where I haven't stayed under 1000 calories :( Haven't gone too much over but still, haven't lost ANYTHING on the scales yet ... Should happen soon though *fingers crossed* 

Anyhow it's really late, and i'm so tired but had to come on and post and say i'm thinking of everyone, I hope you're all doing well <3 xoxox

The past three days....binge binge binge.
I'm so fucking disgusting.
I was aiming for 99 by my birthday.
Well now my birthday is 8 days away and I'm still 110.
Why can't I just stick to my rules without anyone interrupting me?
Think Thin,
Love
x

If anyone wants to chat on Msn some time: Ill_b_thin_2010@hotmail.com.
Luv Lola

I hate to be scrooge but I'm glad b/c its just so much food and stress for me. I love seeing people's smiles if they like the gift I give them but my budget is tight this year and so that was stressful... but its over!

W2hoopsi, I had a small pizza.... 370cals. :(
Now at 650cals.... :(
Not rele the plan I had for today, but it takes time to get back into rythm
right? Cause yesterday I had huuge dinner so my stomach was so wide this morning: I was SO hungry.
So today 1000cals today and then tomorow, my stomach will be smaller and it will be easier for me to fast.
I feel like crap, I'm such an  idiotic excuses for a fat girl..... :(
The thing is my STRICT diet is starting on the first of Jan, so if I'm not doing SO well right now its not THAT bad.
But the point of restricting now is to: get ready, aka. get my stomach smaller so I can fast easier.
Anyway too much balbla. Sorry. Gtg.
See you all lovelies, hope your doing better than me.
Luv Lola

 Hey everyone I changed my user pic to Zoeey Daschanel, she is so cute. And thin.
Luv Lola

Good morning everyone : )

I am very happy this morning because i lost six pounds from yesterday so I weigh 143.
Now I've gotta reach my gw2.
Planning on eating around 500 today and I'll go for a swim to work it off.
Hope you all have a great day!

Stay strong : )
xx

Hey girls.
I feel shit, I'm sick. Uhhhgfff.
Today I've had :

Two tangerines: 50cals
Cereal+Milk- 200cals

Today I'm not going higher than 400cals, I hope. 
This suxs. I took like two paracitamols and I still have a headache.
Hope your all well.
Luv Lola

Didnt post yesterday; but i was here readin the posts
I just want to say i hope everyone had a wonderful xmas :)

I had xmas dinner yesterday - i felt awful after it.
But all of us got ill after it so didnt have anything else :)

Fresh start 3rd January - i want to be 120lbs by then (im 125lbs now)
Im determined.
Ive got a new friend, we are going to stick togther through it all :)
Shes nearly same stats as me so that makes it better
thanks pink_pixie02  for being there for me :)

Hope everyones has a good relaxing day today :D

 its afternoon and i had laready
1 big banana  110 cals
1 small banana 90 cals
2 wholegrain slice 170 calories 

i had a cup of green tea,zero coke and black coffee hope to keep me  although satisfied 
even though i m not hungry